I must want this

I must want to loose weight.. why else would I drag myself out to the gym at 10 p.m. at night to exercise when all I really want to do is sleep? Or relax? Or a million other things. I am not sure why its different this time? Why I do want this so bad? Why I couldn't or didnt do it before? But I am motivated. This is my year by the end of the year I really want to be down 50 more pounds. Only one pound of week. I want to be healthier and want to be under 200. When this started I would of never thought I would or could be under 200 pounds but it seems doable now. So I drag myself out to the gym like it or not.. Day after day after day ..