Today I found myself alone at the starting line again of my 23rd half marathon. I could not talk any of my usual running buddies into running with me. The GO half is so hilly.. I couldn't sell it to anyone. I wanted to do it so I signed up alone. I had done it alone before so it was all good. But this time was different It was my first half since my ankle injury. I was full of self doubt. The whole drive there I considered turning around . I would of but I kept hearing Robs voice say " You can do it Mom. We all know you can" . So there I was at the starting line. And I was off. I noticed that I was in a corral with a pace group and thought well I should try to stick with them to get me through. Miles went by.. One thing when you are alone you get lots of time to think . I found myself thinking about why I continue to train and do half's.. I thought about why I started. I needed control over something when my world was spinning out of control. Running has been with me through:
- My parents divorce
- Two back surgeries for my husband
- One bad concussion with my son
- A career change
- One bad lawsuit with work and an even worse outcome
- A grand jury investigation tied to said lawsuit.
- My mom getting remarried very quickly after her divorce
Through it all I could control when I ran.. I got faster .. I lost weight I trained for three full marathons.. it was mine. I needed it to get through life. It taught me how when you think you cant go on.. just keep going on. It sounds cliche but there are so many times in life I use the same techniques that get me to the finish line in real life.
So today was about me.. and the finish line. I finished with the pace group.. hills and all. It felt good to be back out there. My ankle was strong. SO now to find 24.......
