Are those words directed at me?

Years ago .. I hated to exercise. I remember going to a Dr. and I was describing a problem I was having.. and him saying.. "you need to loose weight". I never went back because I knew he was not listening to me but he saw all my problems as being my weight... Fast forward to today.. I have been having an ankle injury nag me for quite some time.. If you see me after a long run.. or heck even a short run you know I will be dragging my bad leg around .. limping. Today I decided I has had enough. Truthfully I just wanted to make sure I could do the full marathon in January and not get hurt.:) But the words that came out of his mouth surprised me.. He said I have achilles tendonosis.. not tendinitis.. he said I have no range of motion in my ankle cause I have done so much damage. His orders.. stay off it.. not running.. no walking.. no biking.. no elliptical.. Nothing.. I tried to negotiate my way out of this.. and he said NO exercise. I do find the irony in this.. I would of never imagined a Dr. having that conversation with me even five years ago. So as I tried to negotiate with him his words stuck.. Nothing get off that thing.. We will also do some exercises and it will heal..  Slowly..
   So there I was on the way home.. crying cause I could not  do the things I want to do.. Its such a big part of my life. There is some question about the St. Jude race coming up in December... which hurts a lot. Crying cause I can't  work out.  Life has a funny way of coming full circle. It will heal and I will go back but maybe I will find a middle ground.. Maybe:)

Its a mental race.

I was reminded today around mile 10 at the MO cowbell how mental a race is.. a distance race is called that for a reason right?  There are so many factors out of your control.. the weather.. will it rain or in today's case.. the wind be against you for six miles.. the temperature. .. Your body.. I have heard.. trust your training. I always do the training.. but there are always factors .. Today I could not get over that wind.. It was holding me back.. plus perhaps I had over-trained.. and my heel was telling me that. It was not my best.. I had to use every mental trick I know.. staying in the mile.. reassuring myself and saying a lot of prayers.. I was mad at myself at first then I realized.. I would of died even a year ago.. to have the pace I was at today be my worst pace.. Around mile 10 I sent my buddy on to finish.. I was done at the pace we were at.. it was me and the last three miles.. I must of said in my mind a hundred times.. get to my family.. Get to my boys.. I am going to see my boys.. I knew at mile 12 I would see them. I am so fortunate to have a family who will give up there activities to come see me on a cold windy day.. to finish. Boys who get to jump in and cross the finish line and say.. "Ms Heather is kicking your butt today Mom .. but your still ok.. Your still on pace.. Lets get across that line." And when it was all said and done.. This one was good.. I learned alot again about my self again. I will cross that finish line... I will keep going. And sometimes ones of your worst runs.. can be one of your best..